Monday, April 09, 2007

Be a friend to have one...


Many children want to learn how to make new friends or get along better with the ones they already have. The problem is they don’t know how. Knowing how to make friends is a skill – something that we learn how to do through observation, practice and patience (not giving up too soon). The process is very similar to learning to ride a bike: we watch someone ride a bike, see how he or she balance and use his or her feet to pedal; we practice (usually with the help of an adult) and finally, when we aren’t successful, we use patience and keep trying. So, just like children practice riding a bike, they may benefit from practicing social skills.


Listed below are a few skills that can be helpful when making friends. Parents can reinforce their child’s learning by practicing and role-playing friendship making situations.


Greetings – Knowing how to talk to friends and get to know them is an important social skill. Kids like others to say hello to them. When greeting someone look them in the eye and give a friendly smile.
Paying attention – Children like to be listened to. When someone is talking, don’t interrupt. Wait your turn. (Make sure you use your very best active listening skills.)
Compliments: People like hearing nice things about themselves. Try giving someone a compliment when you want to be friends.
Cooperation: Sharing games or CD’s and taking turns is hard to do but these actions are sure to help you make friends.
Patience – no one likes to be rushed.
Being close to someone – Nobody likes to be pushed, elbowed, or shoved. When you are standing next to someone make sure you are giving that person enough space. If you bump into them be sure to apologize.


With a little bit of practice and reinforcement children can learn friendship skills that last a lifetime. This is the one relationship they are going to relish all their life.