Gifts Strengthen relationships

Gifts can be good at eliciting emotions and even smoothing the rough spots, but don't make the mistake of giving the wrong kind. You'll go broke and not accomplish what you intended. Since women's emotions are so powerful, realize that all gifts to women have a soothing effect and "goodwill time frame" that is proportional to the emotion evoked. This has nothing to do with the value or utility of the gift, believe me. Whether you're in the early stages of a relationship or have been married ten years, never give expensive gifts, agree to extensive home remodeling that you don't particularly want, expensive trips, etc. in the hope that it will improve her feelings for you.

If you do, you'll be paying for the expenditure long after your girlfriend or wife has stopped smiling at you for what you did. Instead, give little nothing gifts like a funny card, or a stuffed animal holding flowers, and say "I was thinking of you today." Do this at unexpected times.

A week later (or maybe even the next day), the $12 stuffed Dalmatian with the heart-shaped spots will be forgotten, and your woman's attitude will probably (and understandably) be "What have you done for me lately?" But guess what? The same thing will happen a week after you agree to pay for her eight-year-old's private school tuition, which is a $120,000 tab over ten years. You do the math. The exception to this rule is if you decide to give an expensive, useful gift to a woman who needs it and who has been exceptionally good to you already.

Few men do this. Men usually give presents, take women to expensive restaurants, etc. in the hope that the recipient will be grateful. THIS DOES NOT WORK. Expensive gifts should always be unexpected rewards. They should never be attempted inducements.

There are things that we consider not on the priority, but it does makes a difference and build memories to cherish lifelong relationship....

What women say they want and what they actually do want are two different things

Men need to be keenly aware of this and act accordingly. The crap that women claim they want in the personals ads is exactly the kind of thing that would have the same women running for the nearest exit out of boredom if the men actually provided it.

Women want to feel attraction for someone, and attraction doesn't come from finding a man who is sensitive, or caring, or likes long walks on the beach, cats, and candlelight dinners, has a college education or a good job. Attraction isn't a choice. Attraction comes from that little shiver of anticipation of not knowing what's coming next, of not being able to pigeonhole the man she's with into any one category, of being just a little bit off-balance and not in total control.

that's why said that what women say they want and what they actually do want are two different things...

So, enjoy women for what they are, and don't imagine them to be something they aren't. It may sound harsh or negative, but real women are seldom like what we see in movies written by male screenwriters or read about in novels written by male authors.

The cute waitress where you eat lunch may visually remind you of Meg Ryan (or whoever) in the movie where she played a waitress, but don't for one second imagine the real-life waitress to be as intelligent or interesting as the writers who gave Meg her lines. Flirt with the waitress and let her presence make your lunch more pleasant, but don't start going there every day and turn her into some fantasy of yours ("One-itis").

At best, you'll waste a bunch of better opportunities mooning around her at lunchtime, while she smiles at you but otherwise blows you off. At worst, she'll eventually accept your advances, and (since you were fixated on only her and had no other women to compare her to) you'll end up married before you figure out that aside from being nice to look at (for now), there isn't much else you really enjoy about her....

Different definitions of integrity

Men have integrity to their word, but because of the heightened sensitivity as explained above, women have integrity to their feelings.

Women base their actions on how they feel at the time. This means that if something no longer "feels" right, they won't do it, period. It infuriates most men when a woman "flakes" on them. ("Flaking" is the term that men who study this sort of thing use to describe when a woman who has eagerly made plans with them doesn't show up, or calls at the last minute to cancel because her girlfriend needs consoling etc. Roughly speaking, a woman's tendency to flake is proportional to her options and inversely proportional to her age, although I did meet one 38-year-old single mother of two with this habit.) Understand that the need to be true to one's feelings is an extremely powerful force with women. Look at the dominant theme in all romance novels: The woman is "swept away" by emotions too powerful to be denied, and has an affair when everyone knows she shouldn't. Another example is the adage "Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned." Even the former First Lady (according to the Secret Service) regularly threw things (lamps, etc.) at her husband when angry. Can you imagine a man doing this, instead of saying "Next"? The idea is ludicrous.

If you're a man, you probably do what you've agreed to do (help someone move, etc.) because you said you would. However, you wouldn't go through with your plans to help your acquaintance move if it had suddenly become a felony with a mandatory 10-year prison sentence to do so, would you? Of course not. Ten years in prison trumps a promise to move furniture. Well, that is the kind of aversion that women have to doing things that no longer "feel" right. Later I'll explain how to make this "integrity to feelings" work to your benefit.

Think about the above.... more to come in next blog to ponder upon...

Understanding Women- An Approach

What follows are general truths, in the same vein as the statement "Women are shorter and have much less upper body strength than men." Don't annoy me with emails telling me how you know a woman who's 6'5" and benches 400. I don't care.

Never forget this. Stop thinking of women as screwed-up men and start realizing that their minds were built from an entirely different blueprint.

Just as a hawk can discern details at distances that a man needs a ten-power scope to see, a woman is many times more capable than a man at reading the emotions of other women. (Women may be equally capable at reading men's emotions, but have never seen a need to.) Walk into a large party with a woman. You, the man, will see a bunch of people in a room, talking in groups of two to five. You'll see where the food and bar is, and notice any exceptionally attractive women in the room. That's it. Your companion, however, will be able to tell you which woman is angry, which one is lonely, which is happy, which is upset, which ones feel self-conscious, which ones are jealous, and (probably) which ones are having affairs and with which men. Your female companion will be able to accurately tell you these things within ten seconds of entering the room.

This ability comes at a price: Women are many times more sensitive than men to emotional pain. Imagine a man whose skin was so sensitive that ordinary contact was painful. Whenever someone shook his hand in greeting or clapped him on the shoulder in congratulations, it would feel to him as if boiling water were being thrown on his flesh. Now turn that disparity in physical sensitivity into emotional sensitivity and you'll get a good picture of a fundamental difference between men and women.

Men seldom if ever need to know what a group of other women is thinking, so they usually experience a woman's heightened sensitivity from the negative perspective. They hurt their wives' feelings without realizing it (just like the handshake in the above hypothetical) and then are baffled when their women are upset with them, often for days or weeks at a time, for seemingly no reason.

This is a fine advice I found worth sharing to you all...
This section I got has series to discuss... Will keep you updated on this...

Self Confidence Solution

Many people are involved in relationships that are strained, whether husband/wife, parent/child, or just ordinary friendships. If someone wanted to go about improving the relationship, what incentives would you suggest they use as a means of fortifying their resolve to succeed?

Utilizing incentives and motivational tools provides the inner stamina needed to maintain our willpower, and thus achieve our ultimate goals.

To all the questions... I will say SELF CONFIDENCE...

Self confidence is an attitude which allows individuals to have positive yet realistic views of themselves and their situations. Self-confident people trust their own abilities, have a general sense of control in their lives, and believe that within reason, they will be able to do what they wish, plan and expect. Having self-confidence does not mean that individuals will be able to do everything. Self-confident people have expectations that are realistic. Even when some of their expectations are not met, they continue to be positive and to accept themselves...

Be a good negotiator...

To be able to communicate effectively, you need to be honest and open about your feelings, needs and ideas, whilst also accepting, respecting and supporting the other person. Empathise with the person by trying to imagine how they must be feeling – which may be different to how you would feel in the same situation. This may help you to hear and understand the problem from other person’s perspective.

We do not always have to agree with each other; what makes us so unique as human beings is that we all see things differently and this is part of what makes our relationships precious. Relationships are about learning how to nurture and love ourselves as well as others. In order to take care of yourself, you must be responsible for your own needs and set your own personal boundaries.

The collaborative problem-solving steps:

•Define the problem in terms of the needs of both parties.
•Brainstorming, develop possible solutions together.
•Break up the problem in smaller and more manageable portions.
•Find best alternatives and make a decision.
•Evaluate how well the solution turned out.

When feeling are expressed, heard and accepted by another person, then individuals can discuss their differences more productively. Once the emotions have subsided, problems can be solved by the collaborative problem solving skills.

I find it worth sharing to you all. Readfull article...

Mentoring Relationship

We all happen to think why the relationship has turned out this complex when we can not figure out the reason for happening so... there are reasons and clashes but are they enough to bring a loving relation to this stage...

I think we missed quite a few things that would have made us skip a situation of a broken relationship of our life.

When you show up for every meeting with your loved one and strive to make things work out you send your loved one a strong message that you care and that he or she is worth caring about... so just be there

“My parents lecture me all the time. Why would I want my mentor to be the same way? I have the best mentor in the program, but sometimes he tries too hard to be a mentor instead of just being himself. What I mean is that he thinks he always has to share some wisdom or advice, when sometimes I would rather just kick it and joke around.”

Of course, when your loved one comes to you for help or advice, it is appropriate to help them develop solutions. It's also okay to check in with them if you suspect that they are struggling with something. They just don't want non-stop advice. So, take the pressure off of yourself and just enjoy your loved one's company.
be a friend, not an all-knowing authority

The best that you can do is to lead by example. By becoming a mentor, you've already modeled the most important thing a human being can do: caring about another. Here are some other ways you can be a positive role model for your loved one:

• Keep your word: Call when you say you will. Do what you say you will. Be there when you say you will;
• Return phone calls and e-mails promptly;
• Have a positive outlook;
• If your program has group sessions, participate fully;
• If you enter a competitive activity with your loved one, keep it in perspective and by all means do not cheat (or even fudge a little) to help your loved one win, get a better place in line at an event, etc.; and
• Let your loved one see you going out of your way to help others.

I think it works...Be a role model...

Few of what is concurred by California Governor’s Mentoring Partnership and Los Angeles Youth Mentoring Connection also...

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Building Memories to live and love...

Building Memories

Grandparents and grandchildren alike enjoy building memories together. Whether it is baking cookies, playing games or reading books together, children will always remember the quality times they shared with their grandparents. And while some grandparents are not able to spend much time with their grandchildren, they can still form lasting memories during their visits. Kesler suggests grandparents begin a tradition with their grandchildren, whether it's a particular game or activity, during visits. He gives the example of coloring Easter eggs together each year, having the children help set the table whenever they come to visit, having a special place for the children to sit at the dinner table, or staying up late to eat popcorn and talk. This continuity will help solidify lasting memories.

This space in a article made me think why not we happen to live together to have time with our parents and our parents too could find a life in there last days....

http://familyfirst.net/


BlogUniverse

The Friendship Charisma

I happen to be a friend of a small boy name sahil. Sahil was a 5 year kid and was residing to the next door house from my street. Every evening he use to come to me with the new bike toys models his father bought him last evening from the mall. Though we have a age difference of more than 20 years still he found it to be comfortable to share it like friends and me too use to admire and tease him like a friend of his age.
It was the present of sahil in my life that make me feel as a child whenever he is around and the feelings of this relationship can only be lived and cannot be depicted into characters....

Be a friend to have one...

Many children want to learn how to make new friends or get along better with the ones they already have. The problem is they don’t know how. Knowing how to make friends is a skill – something that we learn how to do through observation, practice and patience (not giving up too soon). The process is very similar to learning to ride a bike: we watch someone ride a bike, see how he or she balance and use his or her feet to pedal; we practice (usually with the help of an adult) and finally, when we aren’t successful, we use patience and keep trying. So, just like children practice riding a bike, they may benefit from practicing social skills.


Listed below are a few skills that can be helpful when making friends. Parents can reinforce their child’s learning by practicing and role-playing friendship making situations.


Greetings – Knowing how to talk to friends and get to know them is an important social skill. Kids like others to say hello to them. When greeting someone look them in the eye and give a friendly smile.
Paying attention – Children like to be listened to. When someone is talking, don’t interrupt. Wait your turn. (Make sure you use your very best active listening skills.)
Compliments: People like hearing nice things about themselves. Try giving someone a compliment when you want to be friends.
Cooperation: Sharing games or CD’s and taking turns is hard to do but these actions are sure to help you make friends.
Patience – no one likes to be rushed.
Being close to someone – Nobody likes to be pushed, elbowed, or shoved. When you are standing next to someone make sure you are giving that person enough space. If you bump into them be sure to apologize.


With a little bit of practice and reinforcement children can learn friendship skills that last a lifetime. This is the one relationship they are going to relish all their life.

Spend Some Time Together

There are many small joys we miss just like that everyday... dont believe me ok just take todays dinner with every member of the family on the table at same time... you may feel awkward or not comfortable but you are surely going to enjoy the environment. The small ones and the old ones are more or less on the same side of behviour the intelligent is one thing i dont waant you to carry on the table today. Just be one of the child or the old one in your house and just ignore the mess going to be creeaated by you together but enjoy making it.

Marriage A Staircase with new relation on every step

We happen to get acquainted with friends and amongst the friends we chose one worth been together for lifetime. We marry ... but its just not a boundation between two human beings rather a bonding of two community...

The marriage is a staircase leading to a life where we happen to earn a relation on every step of that staircase. The relation we get are new still they are so strong to feel. You can even count blindly on few of them. The bride and groom exchange the trust and relations they have earned so far and together they will be nurturing for their rest of life.

Its really nice to get married....

Perhaps A Friend is in need

We happen to part from our friend but we know how much more we miss the relation we are in distance with. The bond of a realtion is not bounded by the physical boundries. The maturity comes with time.

We happen to write beutiful mail to share our feelings. We use the developed information technology to be in touch with a friend. There are times when there can be a gap of conversation but take my words, a true friendship can survive and strngthened under these circumstances. So why dont you just call someone today to whom you have not be in contact for months and years and feel what you were missing...

one day u feel like crying.... call me. I dont promise that I will make u laugh, but I can cry with u. If one day u want to run away-- dont be afraid to call me. I dont promise to ask u to stop......but I can run with u. If one day u dont want to listen to anyone.....call me. I promise to be there for u but also promise to remain quiet. But one day if u call......and there is no answer.....come fast to see me. Perhaps I need you.....

Trust your relation

There are times when the blck clouds of confusions and misunderstandings crawl under the skin and make one to take decission that cost them a friend. There are things which we cant express or share, but then you must trust the other friend that there must be some reason behind his/her doings which you need not know at present but that can be shared when the other one is comfortable.

See, what we see and hear are not truth always. There are times when you have to react and say something which we never meant that way. The relationship must be feeded well with time and trust to grow in adverse conditions.

I used to be in love with a girl, she also loved me a lot but one day her parent came to know about our relationship and they asked her to drop the relationship with me. She cried but her parents asked her to chose from them and me. Now how can love be put infront of love to fight. She didint told me about all this and decided to just break my heart so that i forget her. But what i did is just trusted her my only love and knew that what she was doing is not her but some reason or time that she is reacting so. I just talked to her parents but by jove they were so much rigid about their decission. we didnt had talk for months and i tell you, i was in such a pain taht i could have done anything... what i did was just keep making her aware about how i am and i am with her in all decissions and after 1 year 8 months she called and cried that she could not pretend more... and today she is my wife.. i went to their parents again but this time with my parents and it did worked for two of us.

So what if i had reacted in a different way and could have easily break off the relation. It would have me and only me to suffer the agony throughout my life..

What the botton line is just trust your relationship in whichever form you are sharing it and provide some space and time to normalize the happenings.

Trust me you will never regret your decission...
Amritanshu

Relationship Phoenix

Online Freindship funda

People ask, "How can you be friends
With someone you've never met?"
I tell them,
"You've never been online I bet!"
It's something people offline
Will never understand.
You open up your heart to friendship
With your typing hands.


It's a world full friendship at your finger tips,
There is so much online,
It only takes a heart to reach people
With your touch.



First you start out online, surfing all around.
Next thing you know a great friend will be found.
You will chat a lot and surf cyber space.
Soon it will be your second home,
a comforting, special place.


A friend to share your dreams and your tears
And to help each other wipe away life's fears.
You will share life together
And help each other along
You will make it thru bad weather
Because friendship is so strong.

One Kiss of Dhoom made the media dance on tune Crazy kiya re

Now this is what i call "Crazy Kiya Re"
I was just confused with the reactions the people of india have made over the scene...
no really the scene between the Hrithik and Aishwarya Rai are one of the most passionate but decent kiss i ever seen. There are many kissing scenes in the bollywood that need a wooo but not at all this cute scene. They are just playing there characters and I dont feel that it was embedded ... it was an obvious act under the scenario...
I think the issue has catch up with the fire due to the personalities involved in the act.... Hi hia ahha haa

I think the Aish and the hrithik fans has some nerve issue and they could not hold that within...

Just clean kissing scene without any tongue contacts... its hard to figure whether its just a pulicity stunt or a really personal fans issue...

Just see it yourself and decide whether the relationship between the characters are more than a play act...

Show me

Two Different Persona

The two characters have only one thing that apart them and that is the vision. Both have the courage, dedication, caliber, passion strength which are the necessary ingredients to make a purpose into a goal but the vision they have are different. One choses to be the perfect thief whereas the other choses to be the cop to catch the perfect thieves.

I enjoyed the chemistry the two personality shared without been acquainted in real life. The two were so sure about each others move that one might think that how come they be so sure of ones mental behavior.

It is more like one man living two lives. one good and one bad. The relation is whom we let to dominate within us so will be our persona...

I would surely like to be the cop in my real life which is more thrilling then merely working on a pre determined plan of action.

Which role model is yours in real life ?

don't forget to tell me through your comments.

Amritanshu

Anti War Global Orgasm

Isn't that great if love making can end the issues to go for a war. Love is the only thing which will make us different. Its a choicest blessing that god endeavoured on human beings. I just encountered an article cum newsletter at santabanta site and felt that this thing need much bigger platform than the one on which it is standing just now. Happy reading and dont forget to make a comment with what you felt...

We all are sharing a lovely relationship with one another by being someone friends, someone son or daughter, by been a lover or just keeping in touch with the others.

Remember the flower power generation's slogan from the 1960s: Make Love, Not War? A US-based activist couple wants the world to put that into practice on December 22 as part of an anti-war 'Global Orgasm Project'.Donna Sheehan and her partner Paul Reffel have given a call to all peace-lovers around the world, "especially in countries with weapons of mass destruction", to join the campaign on the winter solstice day "at the time of your choosing, in the place of your choosing and with as much privacy as you choose". And they are serious about it.

The project will "effect (a) positive change in the energy field of the earth through input of the largest possible surge of human energy - a Synchronized Global Orgasm", their website says."We have had several e-mails from India.

We would like very much to have India join with this physical and spiritual event, in the hope that we can all change the energy of the world for the better," the couple informed in a jointly signed mail.Their timing is motivated by the "two more US fleets heading for the Persian Gulf with anti-submarine equipment that can only be for use against Iran"."So the time to change Earth's energy is now!"It will not be the first time that the couple, co-founders of the anti-war organisation Baring Witness, will employ a rather unusual mode of protest.

In the run-up to the US invasion of Iraq in 2002, Sheehan and some of her peace-loving friends stripped naked and spelled "peace" on a Marin County field. As photographs of their protest spread, similar Baring Witness demonstrations were staged in many parts of the world.That campaign, however, could only have a limited number of participants. "The Global Orgasm is a way for even more men and women to be involved in changing the way human affairs are conducted in the world.

"The intent is that the participants concentrate any thoughts during and after orgasm on peace. The orgasmic energy combined with mindful intention may have a much greater effect than previous mass meditations and prayers," reads their mission statement.

"The goal is to add so much concentrated and high-energy positive input into the energy field of the earth that it will reduce the current dangerous levels of aggression and violence throughout the world.

"The duo hopes the energy levels generated by the event will register on the worldwide monitor system of the Global Consciousness Project of Princeton University.

Now tell me isnt that a great thought...

Amritanshu

Keep In Touch-It does makes the difference

There are times when we tend to stay away from contact with friends for a long. We think spiritually that the other friend will understand but thinking rationally gives a quite different scenario. Here is what generally happens if the bond of freindhip is not too stretchable and flexible.

Both Friends will think the other is busy and will not contact thinking
it may be disturbing.

As time passes both will think let the other contact. After that each
will think why should I contact first.

Here ur love will be converted to Hate.

Finally without contact the memory becomes weak.

They forget each other.

One fine Day they will meet n blame one another.

So Keep in touch with all your Friends. And just give a small time now to a friend to whom you might e not in contact for a long time... and if he is reading this s/he will give you a call for sure...

Dont loose something which took years to Yield...

Happy Reading...
Amritanshu