It is righteous to say the children are the wet soil ready to nourish the type of cultural seeds we are going to rope in them. Culture has a strong role to play in a character building. If you take care it right now, the fruits will reap sweet, healthy and nourishing others some day.
Trust Seeds
Children always trust their parents, but you need to guide them to parameter TRUST. It should not come blind as in case of parents. The child will always go by you irrespective of you been right or wrong. If you start explaining whom you trust and for what reason, the child will develop the right parameters to trust people. Mistakes can happen, but to trust oneself has to go along.
They should not give their TRUST easily, but once they do.. they need to trust along.
Faith Seeds
"When it comes to spirituality, we parents are just our kids' ambassadors. We can show them around, but we don't need to know everything."
And that exploration is well worth the effort. Miller's research indicates that personal spirituality results in much more than just a nice warm, fuzzy feeling. She says kids who develop a sense of a loving higher power or a guiding force—whether they call it God, creator, Allah or simply "loving universe"—are 80 percent less likely to suffer major depression and 50 percent less likely to suffer from substance abuse as teens.
Your relationship with your child is the most important teaching tool.
Teach them how to listen by actively listening to them. Commit to understanding exactly what it is that your children want you to understand and test out that understanding to make sure you got it right. Active listening is about honoring the speaker's intentions, not your own.
Watch your expectations and how you react to their "less than perfect" behaviors. Focus more on what your children do right and respond rather than react to what they do wrong.
Be honest at all times. Teach them the power gained with honesty and integrity. Children know when we're telling them a lot of baloney. Use appropriate language for their age but make it honest and keep it real.
When you make a mistake, own it, apologize, and let them know you'll do better next time. This is a powerful way to role model, taking full responsibility for your feelings.
When you respond in a non-defensive manner, it creates more connection, trust, respect, and effective problem-solving.
When your children make mistakes, remind yourself that no one is perfect and forgive. Use their mistakes as an opportunity for them to learn something new or remember something old. Teach them that forgiveness is really an act of self-love. It enables you to let go and release your energy for more constructive and empowering interactions. Forgiveness is a must in all
Don't take responsibility for their feelings and reactions and never make them feel responsible for yours. Children need to learn how to manage their own feelings without blaming others.
Children also need to know that they are responsible for their actions and its impact but can never take responsibility for healing another person's feelings. People can only do that for themselves.
Life is full of them. Sometimes you have to say "no" even when you want to say yes. Don't try and fix things or make life perfect. Even if you had the power to do so (which you don't), it wouldn't be in their best interest to do so. Learning to deal with disappointment and loss is incredibly important.
Choices replace ultimatums. Understanding this will serve them well in future relationships. Even as adults we need to communicate choices to one another rather than ultimatums. Choices are powerful, ultimatums aren't. It's all in the delivery.
We are always sending subtle or not so subtle messages on who we really want our children to be — what career, hobbies, friends, likes and dislikes — so monitor this and make corrections when needed. Everyone wants to be understood and accepted for who they are. We thrive under these conditions!
Find the ways that feel best for your children and demonstrate your love in the ways that feel best for them. Even when your adolescent is rejecting you, don't dismiss their need for love. Sometimes when we feel the need to push our loved ones away is the very time we want and need them to stay close.
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