The ARC Triangle is the keystone of living associations

The Ultimate Marriage Tool

Affinity, Reality and Communication (ARC)
As with all of your relationships, your marriage succeeds or fails based on ARC. The more you communicate, the more you agree on things, and the greater your affinity for your spouse, the better your marriage. If you do not communicate, do not agree and do not like each other, the marriage is doomed.
"Marriages fall apart simply because of a failure of communication, because of a failure of reality and affinity." -- L. Ron Hubbard

Young lovers believe, "Our love is so strong, it will make our marriage last forever." Of course, if affinity is all they have, sooner or later, the lack of agreement or poor communication ruins the relationship.

For example, Julie and Jeff meet at a coffee shop one night, fall madly in love and get married. When apart, they can't think of anything but each other. When together, they can't keep their hands off each other. Neither have experienced so much affinity, so they get married.

But their reality point suffers. Julie doesn't agree with Jeff's decision to start a plumbing shop. She would rather he became an accountant. Jeff doesn't agree with Julie's urge to socialize. He'd rather she stayed at home.

To compensate, they decide to not communicate, "Let's not talk about those things right now. All that matters is that we will love each other forever." Of course, by not communicating about their disagreements, their love/affinity begins to dwindle.

Julie and Jeff stop holding hands as often. Sometimes they ignore each other at home. They keep secrets from each other. They argue about little things, like where to eat dinner, who should clean the house and which type of cat food is best.

The little things become bigger things: choices of friends, money, sex and so on. The arguments become fights. Jeff storms out and stays away for a few nights. Julie moves back with her parents. The marriage dies.

As another example, Bill and Diana know how to use the ARC Triangle. When they first meet at work, they feel the same incredible feeling of affinity toward each other. Love songs, sunsets and hugs become amazing experiences for both of them.

But as they begin to plan their life together, Bill and Diana take the time to bring their communication and reality up to the same level as their affinity point. They say things like:

"Instead of going to a movie tonight, why don't we talk about our goals. Maybe we can agree on a future together."

"If we were to stay together, we'd have to agree on how we would spend our time together. I like to spend time with my old friends. What do you think?"

"I need to tell you something I did wrong and really regret, but we agreed to not have secrets. Can I tell you now?"

While they might experience some glitches in their relationship, the strength of their affinity AND reality AND communication is stronger than any problems they encounter. Bill and Diana get married and stay married for decades, based on all three points of the ARC Triangle.

Recommendations

You can improve your marriage, or even save a bad marriage, by improving your ARC.

1. Write down how you can improve your communication with your spouse.

2. Write down how you can reach more agreements with your spouse.

3. Write down how you can increase your affinity for your spouse.

4. Take the easiest task and do it today.

5. Do the rest of the tasks and continue these steps until your ARC with your spouse is higher and your marriage is better than ever!

To read more, go to www.tipsforsuccess.org/arc1.htm

Take Advantage of Your Opportunities

Right now, you can make a decision that will make you more successful. Right now, you can take a step that will move you closer to your goals. Right now, you can change something about your life that will make you healthier and happier. However, if you find it hard to make decisions or take action, you miss these opportunities.

What opportunities have you missed? How much did your indecision cost you?

Indecision costs companies millions when they fail to decide or fail to act. An opportunity comes and goes while management sits on its hands. For example, IBM could have controlled the personal computer market if it had acted on Bill Gates' offer to handle their computer operating software for them. Barnes and Noble was the world's biggest bookseller until Amazon.com took over. By the time Barnes and Noble started selling books on the Internet, Amazon.com had taken the number one spot.

When you as an individual fail to make a decision or fail to act, you can also ruin your success or happiness. For example, you could have started a business when you were in your twenties. You could have formed a partnership with a very successful person. You could have made better decisions regarding your ex-spouse.

You have probably seen big opportunities, knew they were big opportunities, and failed to act on them.

In fact, you probably have one or more opportunities in front of you now. So what makes you hesitate?

So go for it...
remember "Inaction and indecision in the present is because of fear of consequences of the future." -- L. Ron Hubbard

Because you are afraid of certain consequences, you do not act or do not decide. You are afraid of what might happen. You can see this principle at work with the following exercise.

Five Tips for Conquering Your Fear of Consequences

1. Write down an opportunity that is available to you right now.

2. Write down the decision that is difficult to make or the action that is difficult to take.

3. Write down the consequences you might be afraid of.

4. Of these consequences, identify your biggest fear or fears.

5. Take action to resolve this fear or fears.

and please please for your sake dont bother what others are going to think about your step...

Best of Luck ... go ahead and grab the opportunity before it fades away with time...