Just felt sharing this part with you all,
What is the most effective way to create and sustain great relationships with others? It's The 100/0 Principle: You take full responsibility (the 100) for the relationship, expecting nothing (the 0) in return.
Implementing The 100/0 Principle is not natural for most of us. It takes real commitment to the relationship and a good dose of self-discipline to think, act and give 100 percent.
The 100/0 Principle applies to those people in your life where the relationships are too important to react automatically or judgmentally. Each of us must determine the relationships to which this principle should apply. For most of us, it applies to work associates, customers, suppliers, family and friends.
STEP 1 - Determine what you can do to make the relationship work...then do it. Demonstrate respect and kindness to the other person, whether he/she deserves it or not.
STEP 2 - Do not expect anything in return. Zero, zip, nada.
STEP 3 - Do not allow anything the other person says or does (no matter how annoying!) to affect you. In other words, don't take the bait.
STEP 4 - Be persistent with your graciousness and kindness. Often we give up too soon, especially when others don't respond in kind. Remember to expect nothing in return.
At times (usually few), the relationship can remain challenging, even toxic, despite your 100 percent commitment and self-discipline. When this occurs, you need to avoid being the "Knower" and shift to being the "Learner." Avoid Knower statements/ thoughts like "that won't work," "I'm right, you are wrong," "I know it and you don't," "I'll teach you," "that's just the way it is," "I need to tell you what I know," etc.
Instead use Learner statements/thoughts like "Let me find out what is going on and try to understand the situation," "I could be wrong," "I wonder if there is anything of value here," "I wonder if..." etc. In other words, as a Learner, be curious!
Principle Paradox
This may strike you as strange, but here's the paradox: When you take authentic responsibility for a relationship, more often than not the other person quickly chooses to take responsibility as well. Consequently, the 100/0 relationship quickly transforms into something approaching 100/100. When that occurs, true breakthroughs happen for the individuals involved, their teams, their organizations and their families.
Showing posts with label relationship. Show all posts
Showing posts with label relationship. Show all posts
Wednesday, April 14, 2010
Thursday, September 03, 2009
We sometimes forget to admire things when they are around and fail to assess the true value of the relations around until they happen to be away from us. It might be an intentional or unintentional behavior to praise but its hard to make for the small loss that we just ignore.
Relations around us are always there, we never are really alone but we fail to notice this till we really happen to feel lonely. There are several ways to acknowledge if you have made the same mistake of ignorance to praise the relations around you. I know the people may not ask or is waiting for you appraisal but take my words it does matter, and it matters the most. Try thanking or saying sorry to someone near to you and just see how you make them overwhelmed with your words.
Its not that we should say Thanks when someone really did good thing or say sorry when we did something wrong to others... Sometimes these magical words simply works as always and work in a different way when we say it just like that sometime to the near and dear persons around us to tell them that its not that we may have failed to say it at the right time but its not like that we don't care...
try it once and see the magic... Thanks for reading... Happy Reading...
Relations around us are always there, we never are really alone but we fail to notice this till we really happen to feel lonely. There are several ways to acknowledge if you have made the same mistake of ignorance to praise the relations around you. I know the people may not ask or is waiting for you appraisal but take my words it does matter, and it matters the most. Try thanking or saying sorry to someone near to you and just see how you make them overwhelmed with your words.
Its not that we should say Thanks when someone really did good thing or say sorry when we did something wrong to others... Sometimes these magical words simply works as always and work in a different way when we say it just like that sometime to the near and dear persons around us to tell them that its not that we may have failed to say it at the right time but its not like that we don't care...
try it once and see the magic... Thanks for reading... Happy Reading...
Friday, May 29, 2009
Emotional Intelligence and Relationship Building
The best things in life – success, happiness, love – depend on our ability to create and maintain great relationships. Most of us do a good job with relationships at the start, only to stumble down the road. Why do relationships develop such challenging problems?
Oftentimes, relationship problems are due to a breakdown in the skills of emotional intelligence. Fortunately, it’s never too late to develop these skills and raise your emotional intelligence abilities. Once you’ve learned the five key emotional intelligence skills, you’ll be able to create and sustain secure, successful, long-lasting relationships.
Many people put their best foot forward in a new work setting or when looking to attract a mate, but stumble while trying to maintain their relationships over the long term. That’s because keeping a relationship healthy and fulfilling requires a unique skill set that many of us don’t have. This skill set is known as emotional intelligence.
Emotional intelligence is the ability to recognize, control, and effectively communicate our own emotions, and to recognize the emotions of other people. When our emotional intelligence skills are well developed, we have a solid emotional foundation that helps us build strong relationships and communicate clearly.
The skills of emotional intelligence help you:
>>Build rewarding, lasting relationships
>>Stay calm and focused, regardless of the circumstances
>>Understand your own motivations, feelings, and needs
>>Recognize the difference between damaging and helpful communication
>>Accurately “read” other people
>>Defuse arguments and repair wounded feelings
>>Find more playfulness and joy in your relationships
>>Transform conflict into an opportunity for building trust
Emotions are the building blocks of each relationship in our lives, and the power of those emotions cannot be overlooked. Emotions override our thoughts and profoundly influence our behavior – often without our awareness.
Most people seek relationship advice to find answers to problems they believe are responsible for their conflicts—without realizing there are more fundamental issues at the core of those problems. They are attempting to heal the surface symptoms of their dysfunctional relationships, without examining the real emotional issues that are simmering beneath. But until those fundamental issues are addressed, the problems and conflicts will continue.
Enjoy reading more on Emotional Intelligence on helpguide.org
Happy reading....
Oftentimes, relationship problems are due to a breakdown in the skills of emotional intelligence. Fortunately, it’s never too late to develop these skills and raise your emotional intelligence abilities. Once you’ve learned the five key emotional intelligence skills, you’ll be able to create and sustain secure, successful, long-lasting relationships.
Many people put their best foot forward in a new work setting or when looking to attract a mate, but stumble while trying to maintain their relationships over the long term. That’s because keeping a relationship healthy and fulfilling requires a unique skill set that many of us don’t have. This skill set is known as emotional intelligence.
Emotional intelligence is the ability to recognize, control, and effectively communicate our own emotions, and to recognize the emotions of other people. When our emotional intelligence skills are well developed, we have a solid emotional foundation that helps us build strong relationships and communicate clearly.
The skills of emotional intelligence help you:
>>Build rewarding, lasting relationships
>>Stay calm and focused, regardless of the circumstances
>>Understand your own motivations, feelings, and needs
>>Recognize the difference between damaging and helpful communication
>>Accurately “read” other people
>>Defuse arguments and repair wounded feelings
>>Find more playfulness and joy in your relationships
>>Transform conflict into an opportunity for building trust
Emotions are the building blocks of each relationship in our lives, and the power of those emotions cannot be overlooked. Emotions override our thoughts and profoundly influence our behavior – often without our awareness.
Most people seek relationship advice to find answers to problems they believe are responsible for their conflicts—without realizing there are more fundamental issues at the core of those problems. They are attempting to heal the surface symptoms of their dysfunctional relationships, without examining the real emotional issues that are simmering beneath. But until those fundamental issues are addressed, the problems and conflicts will continue.
Enjoy reading more on Emotional Intelligence on helpguide.org
Happy reading....
Tuesday, April 07, 2009
Still waiting for your second chance
Just wanted to share this short story with you all...
Hi friend,
I loved reading this...
It’s another morning..
….. Again I have to go to office
Ohh, this is me… I shouted having a glance on my snap in today’s news
paper.
But what the HELL it is doing in the death column??
Strange…
One sec... Let me think, last night when I was going to bed I had a severe
pain in my chest, but I don’t remember anything after that, I think I had a
sound sleep.
Its morning now, ohh….. It’s already 10:00 AM, where is my coffee?
I will be late for office and my boss will get a chance to irritate me.
Where is everyone…??? I screamed.
“I think there is a crowed outside my room, let me check.” I said to
myself.
So many people….. Not all of them crying…
But why some of them crying…
WHAT IS THIS??? I m laying there on the floor…
“I AM HERE” … I shouted!!! No one listen.
“LOOK I AM NOT DEAD” … I screamed once again!!! No one is interested in me.
They all were looking me on the bed.
I went back to my bed room.
“Am I dead??” I asked myself.
Where is my wife, my children, my mom-DAD, my friends?
I found them in the next room, all of them were crying… still trying to
console each other.
My wife was crying… she was really looking sad.
My little kid was not sure what happened, but he was crying just coz his
mom was sad.
How can I go without saying my kid that I really love him, I really do care
of him. ??
How can I go without saying my wife that she is really most beautiful and
most caring wife in this world..??
How can I go without saying my parents that I m … just because of u ??
How can I go without telling my friends that without them perhaps I have
done most of the wrong things in my life… thanks for being there always
when I need them… and sorry for not being there when they really need me..
I can see a person standing in the corner and trying to hide his tears…
Ohh… he was once my best friend, but a small misunderstanding made us part,
and we both have strong enough ego to keep us disconnect.
I went there.. And offered him my hand, “Dear friend… I just want to say
sorry for everything, we r still best friend, please forgive me.”
No response from other side, what the hell?? He is still preserving his
ego, I am saying sorry… even then!!!
I really don’t care for such people.
But one sec…. it seems he is not able to see me!!!! He did not see my
extended hand.
My goodness… AM I REALLY DEAD???
I just sat down near ME; I was also feeling like crying…
“OHH ALMIGHTY!!!! PLEASE JUST GIVE ME FEW MORE DAYS…”
I just wasn’t to make my wife, my parents; my friends realize that how much
I love them.
My wife entered in the room, she looks beautiful.
“YOU R BEAUTIFUL” I shouted.
She didn’t hear my words, in fact she never heard these words coz I never
said this to her.
“GOD!!!!” I screamed… a little more time plzzzzzzzzzzzzzz..
I cried…
One more chance please… to hug my child, to make my mom smile just once, to
feel my dad proud on me at least for a moment, to say sorry to my friends
for everything I have not given to them, and thanks for still being in my
life….
Then I looked up and cried!!!!
I shouted….
“GOD!!!! ONE MORE CHANCE PLEASE!!!!”
"You shouted in your sleep," said my wife as she gently woke me up. "Did
you have a nightmare?"
I was sleeping….
Ohh that was just a dream….
My wife was there… she can hear me…
This is the happiest moment of my life…
I hugged her and whispered…. “U R THE MOST BEAUTIFUL AND CARING WIFE IN
THIS UNIVERSE…. I REALLY LOVE U DEAR”
I can’t understand the reason of the smile on her face with some tears in
her eyes, still I m happy…. :)
“THANK YOU GOD FOR THIS SECOND? CHANCE.”
So, Now it’s not late.. Forget your egos, past……….., and express your love
to others………. Be friendly…………… keep smiling and be happy for ever… or you still waiting for your second chance..........
Hi friend,
I loved reading this...
It’s another morning..
….. Again I have to go to office
Ohh, this is me… I shouted having a glance on my snap in today’s news
paper.
But what the HELL it is doing in the death column??
Strange…
One sec... Let me think, last night when I was going to bed I had a severe
pain in my chest, but I don’t remember anything after that, I think I had a
sound sleep.
Its morning now, ohh….. It’s already 10:00 AM, where is my coffee?
I will be late for office and my boss will get a chance to irritate me.
Where is everyone…??? I screamed.
“I think there is a crowed outside my room, let me check.” I said to
myself.
So many people….. Not all of them crying…
But why some of them crying…
WHAT IS THIS??? I m laying there on the floor…
“I AM HERE” … I shouted!!! No one listen.
“LOOK I AM NOT DEAD” … I screamed once again!!! No one is interested in me.
They all were looking me on the bed.
I went back to my bed room.
“Am I dead??” I asked myself.
Where is my wife, my children, my mom-DAD, my friends?
I found them in the next room, all of them were crying… still trying to
console each other.
My wife was crying… she was really looking sad.
My little kid was not sure what happened, but he was crying just coz his
mom was sad.
How can I go without saying my kid that I really love him, I really do care
of him. ??
How can I go without saying my wife that she is really most beautiful and
most caring wife in this world..??
How can I go without saying my parents that I m … just because of u ??
How can I go without telling my friends that without them perhaps I have
done most of the wrong things in my life… thanks for being there always
when I need them… and sorry for not being there when they really need me..
I can see a person standing in the corner and trying to hide his tears…
Ohh… he was once my best friend, but a small misunderstanding made us part,
and we both have strong enough ego to keep us disconnect.
I went there.. And offered him my hand, “Dear friend… I just want to say
sorry for everything, we r still best friend, please forgive me.”
No response from other side, what the hell?? He is still preserving his
ego, I am saying sorry… even then!!!
I really don’t care for such people.
But one sec…. it seems he is not able to see me!!!! He did not see my
extended hand.
My goodness… AM I REALLY DEAD???
I just sat down near ME; I was also feeling like crying…
“OHH ALMIGHTY!!!! PLEASE JUST GIVE ME FEW MORE DAYS…”
I just wasn’t to make my wife, my parents; my friends realize that how much
I love them.
My wife entered in the room, she looks beautiful.
“YOU R BEAUTIFUL” I shouted.
She didn’t hear my words, in fact she never heard these words coz I never
said this to her.
“GOD!!!!” I screamed… a little more time plzzzzzzzzzzzzzz..
I cried…
One more chance please… to hug my child, to make my mom smile just once, to
feel my dad proud on me at least for a moment, to say sorry to my friends
for everything I have not given to them, and thanks for still being in my
life….
Then I looked up and cried!!!!
I shouted….
“GOD!!!! ONE MORE CHANCE PLEASE!!!!”
"You shouted in your sleep," said my wife as she gently woke me up. "Did
you have a nightmare?"
I was sleeping….
Ohh that was just a dream….
My wife was there… she can hear me…
This is the happiest moment of my life…
I hugged her and whispered…. “U R THE MOST BEAUTIFUL AND CARING WIFE IN
THIS UNIVERSE…. I REALLY LOVE U DEAR”
I can’t understand the reason of the smile on her face with some tears in
her eyes, still I m happy…. :)
“THANK YOU GOD FOR THIS SECOND? CHANCE.”
So, Now it’s not late.. Forget your egos, past……….., and express your love
to others………. Be friendly…………… keep smiling and be happy for ever… or you still waiting for your second chance..........
Monday, February 09, 2009
Valentines Day Past Present and Future
Valentine's Day or Saint Valentine's Day is a holiday celebrated on February 14 by many people throughout the world. In the West, it is the traditional day on which lovers express their love for each other by sending Valentine's cards, presenting flowers, or offering confectionery. The holiday is named after two among the numerous Early Christian martyrs named Valentine. The day became associated with romantic love in the circle of Geoffrey Chaucer in the High Middle Ages, when the tradition of courtly love flourished.
There are many alternative and more stories to that but the love birds don't mind to have one more reason to spend one more day together with some liberty to roam in the favorite places whole day.
I it needs some special day to say what you feel within... I feel the day you speak your heart should be the special one and not a day where you plan to speak your heart. I don't feel things like these have a schedule... or do they have...
I also wonder how politics has found its way in to valentines day... means is this some sort of way to make money for the gift shops, a day to make politics count the most, a day for social dogma to strain out their happenings or what ???
In between all this people find their own sweet time to show love and respect to the relationship they are in is the beauty of the day. I wish you all happy valentines day and if this is the day we are going to have great time together then let everyday be a valentines day....
Thursday, January 08, 2009
Satyam Ramalinga Raju and History
Today when I type satyam in my google search the results what I get really questions to all we Indians that do know only to react on situations or do we really have the gutts to stand to it... results like "Raju brings down Satyam, shakes India.." really made me think why india is a democratic country where anyone can say whatever literally whatever without giving a thought what could be its effect on the readers...
The facts remain the same that there has been such a scam undertook over a period not in a day but reactions should be monitored too.
One of my friend send me a mail today that I would like to share with you guys... have a look and think over all again...
after reading this mail first thought that came to me was that all peoples are not simply rats on the sunking ship running for their life but few are always there to stand strong and face the storm.
The facts remain the same that there has been such a scam undertook over a period not in a day but reactions should be monitored too.
One of my friend send me a mail today that I would like to share with you guys... have a look and think over all again...
Dear all of my Satyamites,
Yesterday will be a memorable day to us throughout our life. Little bit of business & human nature knowledge is forcing me to write few of my thoughts (Please ignore them if they doesn’t make any sense).
Ask yourself who is worst affected by all this mayhem. Is it u & me (employees), Govt or Satyam & Ramalingaraju ?. My conviction says that employees of any MNC are associated to that company as long as they don’t have any better option, the best thing government can do for a company is to keep itself away from it. But there was a visionary who created wealth for a nation for 20 years, the only thing that cannot be separated from Satyam for these 20 years & ahead also if Satyam remains was\is a name called “Ramalinga Raju”. Fortunately I got some 15 min of time talking to him when i was an ELTP. He’s much softer then we see him.
Imagine what would be going on in his mind when he was writing yesterday’s letter accepting all the things which he did only to save his company. All have made him scapegoat for what has happened & left the company keeping their integrity intact. He was cursed badly for putting the money of a public limited company into his family driven company but it only now clear that how he was transferrring the risk from 50,000 people to his two sons & his known-integrity.
The worst which can happen to we the employees is that we are out of our current job, jobless for time being & then again getting a job which we deserve & our families will be worried for us(as they are always). But a relatively bitter truth will be for the Raju-family who will be annoyed for ages & will be treated as miscreants by those who do not know the truth or more about Greedy investors & money market. And the truth is that he has not stolen some thousand crores rupees into his own pocket, it was a bubble he created which busted. (And every other company on earth does so, being wary of not getting trapped)
One more thing which annoys me is does a philanthropist guy deserve this disgraceful exit ? I really feel sad about the way he’s been portrait in the media. Our rustic fellows have already started comparing him with Harshad Mehta. Tell me any incident in corporate India where any chairman has dared to confess such irregularities in his own firm. And believe me it takes hell lot of guts to accept all this publicly. And as I read the news today morning it was published there that even his community members have suggested him not to tell anything and later on he can play with the Indian laws as every politician does in India. But as he mentioned it was all deep regret in his conscience which lead him to confess all this.
I am not at all saying that he’s totally innocent and unaware of what’s been going there but a person who has started a journey called Satyam 20 yrs ago with few associates and made it 4th largest IT Company in India, done all this for sake of his 50000 Satyam family members. In the end i’ll ask only one question to all of my friends,” for whom he has created this bubble, if it was he who was going bankrupt? ”
The day before all this mayhem started, we all were proud to be called as Satyamites and were wearing the Satyam tag displaying our esteem to others, and now due to a single incidence u are feeling awkward to show the same Satyam tag in public?? I don’t know about others, but still I am proud to be a SATYAMITE!!!
after reading this mail first thought that came to me was that all peoples are not simply rats on the sunking ship running for their life but few are always there to stand strong and face the storm.
Thursday, November 27, 2008
Life's all about correcting mistakes
Rutali married Hitesh this day. At the end of the wedding party,
Rutali's mother gave her a newly opened bank saving passbook with Rs.1000 deposit amount.
Mother: 'Rutali, take this passbook. Keep it as a record of your marriage life.
When there's something happy and memorable happened in your new life, put some money in.
Write down what it's about next to the line. The more memorable the event is, the more money you can put in.
I've done the first one for you today. Do the others with Hitesh.
When you look back after years, you can know how much happiness you've had.'
Rutali shared this with Hitesh when getting home.
They both thought it was a great idea and were anxious to know when the second deposit can be made.
This was what they did after certain time:
- 7 Feb: Rs.100, first birthday celebration for Hitesh after marriage
- 1 Mar: Rs.300, salary raise for Rutali
- 20 Mar: Rs.200, vacation trip to Bali
- 15 Apr: Rs.2000, Rutali got pregnant
- 1 Jun: Rs.1000, Hitesh got promoted
..... and so on...
However, after years, they started fighting and arguing for trivial things. They didn't talk much.
They regretted that they had married the nastiest people in the world.... no more love...Kind of typical nowadays, huh?
One day Rutali talked to her Mother:
'Mom, we can't stand it anymore. We agree to divorce. I can't imagine how
I decided to marry this guy!!!'
Mother: 'Sure, girl, that's no big deal. Just do whatever you want if you really can't stand it. But before that, do one thing first.
Remember the saving passbook I gave you on your wedding day? Take out all money and spend it first.
You shouldn't keep any record of such a poor marriage.'
Rutali thought it was true. So she went to the bank, waiting at the queue and planning to cancel the account.
While she was waiting, she took a look at the passbook record. She looked, and looked, and looked.
Then the memory of all the previous joy and happiness just came up her mind. Her eyes were then filled with tears. She left and went home.
When she was home, she handed the passbook to Hitesh, asked him to spend the money before getting divorce.
The next day, Hitesh gave the passbook back to Rutali. She found a new deposit of Rs.5000.
And a line next to the record: 'This is the day I notice how much I've loved you thru out all these years. How much happiness you've brought me.'
They hugged and cried, putting the passbook back to the safe.
Do you know how much money they had saved when they retired? I did not ask. I believe the money did not matter any more after they had gone thru all the good years in their life.
I felt adding line to this would take away the basic of this note --- Rs 2000 Cr
Rutali's mother gave her a newly opened bank saving passbook with Rs.1000 deposit amount.
Mother: 'Rutali, take this passbook. Keep it as a record of your marriage life.
When there's something happy and memorable happened in your new life, put some money in.
Write down what it's about next to the line. The more memorable the event is, the more money you can put in.
I've done the first one for you today. Do the others with Hitesh.
When you look back after years, you can know how much happiness you've had.'
Rutali shared this with Hitesh when getting home.
They both thought it was a great idea and were anxious to know when the second deposit can be made.
This was what they did after certain time:
- 7 Feb: Rs.100, first birthday celebration for Hitesh after marriage
- 1 Mar: Rs.300, salary raise for Rutali
- 20 Mar: Rs.200, vacation trip to Bali
- 15 Apr: Rs.2000, Rutali got pregnant
- 1 Jun: Rs.1000, Hitesh got promoted
..... and so on...
However, after years, they started fighting and arguing for trivial things. They didn't talk much.
They regretted that they had married the nastiest people in the world.... no more love...Kind of typical nowadays, huh?
One day Rutali talked to her Mother:
'Mom, we can't stand it anymore. We agree to divorce. I can't imagine how
I decided to marry this guy!!!'
Mother: 'Sure, girl, that's no big deal. Just do whatever you want if you really can't stand it. But before that, do one thing first.
Remember the saving passbook I gave you on your wedding day? Take out all money and spend it first.
You shouldn't keep any record of such a poor marriage.'
Rutali thought it was true. So she went to the bank, waiting at the queue and planning to cancel the account.
While she was waiting, she took a look at the passbook record. She looked, and looked, and looked.
Then the memory of all the previous joy and happiness just came up her mind. Her eyes were then filled with tears. She left and went home.
When she was home, she handed the passbook to Hitesh, asked him to spend the money before getting divorce.
The next day, Hitesh gave the passbook back to Rutali. She found a new deposit of Rs.5000.
And a line next to the record: 'This is the day I notice how much I've loved you thru out all these years. How much happiness you've brought me.'
They hugged and cried, putting the passbook back to the safe.
Do you know how much money they had saved when they retired? I did not ask. I believe the money did not matter any more after they had gone thru all the good years in their life.
I felt adding line to this would take away the basic of this note --- Rs 2000 Cr
Respecting Relationship is Respecting Self
Former President of USA, Mr Roanld Reagan to his son at the time of the latter's marriage.
Dear Mike,
You have heard all the jokes that have been rousted around by all the 'unhappy marrieds' and cynics. Now in case no one has suggested it, there is another viewpoint. You have entered into the most meaningful relationship there is in all human life. It can be whatever you decide to make it.
Some men feel their masculinity can only be proven if they play out in their own life all the locker-room stories, smugly confident that what a wife doesn't know won't hurt her. The truth is, somehow, way down inside, without her ever finding lipstick on the collar or catching a man in a filmsy excuse of where he was till 3 am, a wife does know, and with that knowing, some of the magic of the relationship disappears. There are more men griping about marriage who kicked the whole thing away themselves that there can ever be wives deserving of blame.
There is a old law of physics that you can only get out of a thing as much as you put in. The man who puts into the marriage only half of what he owns will get that out. Sure, there will be moments when you will see someone or think back on an earlier time and you will be challenged to see if you can still make the grade, but let me tell you how really great is the challenge of proving your masculinity and charm with one woman for the rest of your life. Any man can find a twerp here and there who will go along with cheating, and it doesn't take all that much manhood. It does take quite a man to remain attractive and to be loved by a woman who has heard him snore, seen him unshaven, tended him while he was sick, and washed his dirty underwear. Do that and keep her still feeling a warm glow and you will know some very beautiful music.
If you truly love a girl, you shouldn't ever want her to feel, when she sees you greet a secretary or a girl you both know, that humiliation of wondering if she was someone who caused you to be late coming home, nor should you want any other women to be able to meet your wife and know she was smiling behind her eyes as she looked at her, the women you love, remembering this was the woman you rejected even momentarily for her favors.
Mike, you know better than many what an unhappy home is and what it can do to others. Now you have a chance to make it come out the way it should. There is no greater happiness for a man than approaching a door at the end of a day knowing someone on the other side of the door is waiting for the sound of his footsteps.
---------------
I just could not hold me sharing this very perspective of a fathers who has seen all in the world of married life and knows most of the twist and turns that goes on... Its really nice to be a little more caring about the one who stands with you in all your happenings... Happy Reading....
Dear Mike,
You have heard all the jokes that have been rousted around by all the 'unhappy marrieds' and cynics. Now in case no one has suggested it, there is another viewpoint. You have entered into the most meaningful relationship there is in all human life. It can be whatever you decide to make it.
Some men feel their masculinity can only be proven if they play out in their own life all the locker-room stories, smugly confident that what a wife doesn't know won't hurt her. The truth is, somehow, way down inside, without her ever finding lipstick on the collar or catching a man in a filmsy excuse of where he was till 3 am, a wife does know, and with that knowing, some of the magic of the relationship disappears. There are more men griping about marriage who kicked the whole thing away themselves that there can ever be wives deserving of blame.
There is a old law of physics that you can only get out of a thing as much as you put in. The man who puts into the marriage only half of what he owns will get that out. Sure, there will be moments when you will see someone or think back on an earlier time and you will be challenged to see if you can still make the grade, but let me tell you how really great is the challenge of proving your masculinity and charm with one woman for the rest of your life. Any man can find a twerp here and there who will go along with cheating, and it doesn't take all that much manhood. It does take quite a man to remain attractive and to be loved by a woman who has heard him snore, seen him unshaven, tended him while he was sick, and washed his dirty underwear. Do that and keep her still feeling a warm glow and you will know some very beautiful music.
If you truly love a girl, you shouldn't ever want her to feel, when she sees you greet a secretary or a girl you both know, that humiliation of wondering if she was someone who caused you to be late coming home, nor should you want any other women to be able to meet your wife and know she was smiling behind her eyes as she looked at her, the women you love, remembering this was the woman you rejected even momentarily for her favors.
Mike, you know better than many what an unhappy home is and what it can do to others. Now you have a chance to make it come out the way it should. There is no greater happiness for a man than approaching a door at the end of a day knowing someone on the other side of the door is waiting for the sound of his footsteps.
---------------
I just could not hold me sharing this very perspective of a fathers who has seen all in the world of married life and knows most of the twist and turns that goes on... Its really nice to be a little more caring about the one who stands with you in all your happenings... Happy Reading....
Friday, October 24, 2008
Life means more than what we think and believe
I cant help sharing this in my blog relationship phoenix. It came to me as a mail and
it touched me ... Life has so much more to bestowe , more than what we can hold, the reason longs the perception....
WHEN A LIZARD CAN, WHY CAN'T WE?
This is a true story that happened in Japan.
In order to renovate the house, someone in Japan breaks open the wall.
Japanese houses normally have a hollow space between the wooden walls.
When tearing down the walls, he found that there was a lizard stuck there
because a nail from outside hammered into one of its feet. He sees this,
feels pity, and at the same time curious, as when he checked the nail,
it was nailed 10 years ago when the house was first built.
What happened?
The lizard has survived in such position for 10 years!!!!!!! !!!
In a dark wall partition for 10 years without moving, it is impossible and
mind-boggling. Then he wondered how this lizard survived for 10 years!!!
Without moving a single step--since its foot was nailed! So he stopped his
work and observed the lizard, what it has been doing, and what and how it
has been eating. Later, not knowing from where it came appears another
lizard, with food in its mouth. Ah! He was stunned and touched deeply.
For the lizard That was stuck by nail, another lizard has been feeding it
for the past 10 years...
Imagine? it has been doing that untiringly for 10 long years, without
giving up hope on its partner.Think, will u do that to your partner?
Imagine what a small creature can do that a creature blessed with a
brilliant mind can't. As information and communication technology
advances, our access to information becomes faster and faster.
But the Distance between human beings . . . is it getting closer as well?
Please never abandon your loved ones Never Say U R Busy When They Really
Need You ... You May Have The Entire World At Your Feet..... But You
Might Be The Only World To Them.... Before you say something just
remember It takes a moment to Break but an entire life to make...
The question is when we have been bestowed with gods greates gift life, why we compromise to merely survive and let go the real happiness of our life and loved ones. I really want to ask this question to all : Why and for whom really are we doing things... dont we know that its our presence and togetherness that counts above all ?
Tuesday, October 14, 2008
An Indian Speech
Dr. A. P. J. Abdul Kalam 's Speech in Hyderabad .
Why is the media here so negative?
Why are we in India so embarrassed to recognize our own strengths, our achievements? We are such a great nation. We have so many amazing success stories but we refuse to acknowledge them. Why?
We are the first in milk production .
We are number one in Remote sensing satellites.
We are the second largest producer of wheat.
We are the second largest producer of rice.
Look at Dr. Sudarshan , he has transferred the tribal village into a
self-sustaining, self-driving unit. There are millions of such achievements but our media is only obsessed in the bad news and failures and disasters. I was in Tel Aviv once and I was reading the Israeli newspaper. It was the day after a lot of attacks and bombardments and deaths had taken place. The Hamas had struck. But the front page of the newspaper had the picture of a Jewish gentleman who in five years had transformed his desert into an orchidand a granary. It was this inspiring picture that everyone woke up to. The gory details of killings, bombardments, deaths, were inside in the newspaper, buried among other news.
In India we only read about death, sickness, terrorism, crime. Why are we so NEGATIVE? Another question: Why are we, as a nation so obsessed with foreign things? We want foreign T. Vs, we want foreign shirts. We want f oreign technology.
Why this obsession with everything imported. Do we not realize that self-respect comes with self-reliance? I was in Hyderabad giving this lecture, when a 14 year old girl asked me for my autograph. I asked her what her goal in life is. She replied: I want to live in a developed India . For her, you and I will have to build this developed India . You must proclaim. India is not an under-developed nation; it is a highly developed nation. Do you have 10 minutes? Allow me to come back with a vengeance.
Got 10 minutes for your country? If yes, then read; otherwise, choice is yours.
YOU say that our government is inefficient.
YOU say that our laws are too old.
YOU say that the municipality does not pick up the garbage.
YOU say that the phones don't work, the railways are a joke,
The airline is the worst in the world, mails never reach their destination.
YOU say that our country has been fed to the dogs and is the absolute pits.
YOU say, say and say. What do YOU do about it?
Take a person on his way to Singapore .. Give him a name - YOURS. Give him a face - YOURS. YOU walk out of the airport and you are at your International best. In Singapore you don't throw cigarette butts on the roads or eat in the stores. YOU are as proud of their Underground links as they are. You pay $5 (approx. Rs. 60) to drive through Orchard Road (equivalent of Mahim causeway or Pedder Road) between 5 PM and 8 PM. YOU come back to the parking lot to punch your parking ticket if you have over stayed in a restaurant or a shopping mall irrespective of your status identity... In Singapore you don't say anything, DO YOU? YOU wouldn't dare to eat in public during Ramadan, in Dubai .. YOU would not dare to go out without your head covered in Jeddah . YOU would not dare to buy an employee of the telephone exchange in London at 10 pounds ( Rs.650) a month to, 'see to it that my STD and ISD calls are billed to someone else.'YOU would not dare to speed beyond 55 mph (88 km/h) in Washington and then tell the traffic cop, 'Jaanta hai main kaun hoon (Do you know who I am?). I am so and so's son.
Take your two bucks and get lost.' YOU wouldn't chuck an empty coconut shell anywhere other than the garbage pail on the beaches in Australia and New Zealand .
Why don't YOU spit Paan on the streets of Tokyo ? Why don't YOU use examination jockeys or buy fake certificates in Boston ??? We are still talking of the same YOU. YOU who can respect and conform to a foreign system in other countries but cannot in your own. You who will throw papers and cigarettes on the road the moment you touch Indian ground. If you can be an involved and appreciative citizen in an alien country, why cannot you be the same here in India ?
Once in an interview, the famous Ex-municipal commissioner of Bombay , Mr. Tinaikar , had a point to make. 'Rich people's dogs are walked on the streets to leave their affluent droppings all over the place,' he said. 'And then the same people turn around to criticize and blame the authorities for inefficiency and dirty pavements. What do they expect the officers to do? Go down with a broom every time their dog feels the pressure in his bowels?
In America every dog owner has to clean up after his pet has done the job. Same in Japan .. Will the Indian citizen do that here?' He's right. We go to the polls to choose a government and after that forfeit all responsibility.
We sit back wanting to be pampered and expect the government to do everything for us whilst our contribution is totally negative. We expect the government to clean up but we are not going to stop chucking garbage all over the place nor are we going to stop to pick a up a stray piece of paper and throw it in the bin. We expect the railways to provide clean bathrooms but we are not going to learn the proper use of bathrooms.
We want Indian Airlines and Air India to provide the best of food and toiletries but we are not going to stop pilfering at the least opportunity. This applies even to the staff who is known not to pass on the service to the public. When it comes to burning social issues like those related to women, dowry, girl child! and others, we make loud drawing room protestations and continue to do the reverse at home. Our excuse? 'It's the whole system which has to change, how will it matter if I alone forego my sons' rights to a dowry.' So who's going to change the system?
What does a system consist of ? Very conveniently for us it consists of our neighbours, other households, other cities, other communities and the government. But definitely not me and YOU. When it comes to us actually making a positive contribution to the system we lock ourselves along with our families into a safe cocoon and look into the distance at countries far away and wait for a Mr.Clean to come along & work miracles for us with a majestic sweep of his hand or we leave the country and run away.
Like lazy cowards hounded by our fears we run to America to bask in their glory and praise their system. When New York becomes insecure we run to England .. When England experiences unemployment, we take the next flight out to the Gulf. When the Gulf is war struck, we demand to be rescued and brought home by the Indian government. Everybody is out to abuse and rape the country. Nobody thinks of feeding the system. Our conscience is mortgaged to money.
Dearar Indians, The article is highly thought inductive, calls for a great deal of introspection and pricks one's conscience too.... I am echoing J. F.. Kennedy 's words to his fellow Americans to relate to Indians.....
'ASK WHAT WE CAN DO FOR INDIA
AND DO WHAT HAS TO BE DONE TO MAKE INDIA
WHAT AMERICA AND OTHER WESTERN COUNTRIES ARE TODAY'
Lets do what India needs from us.
-----------------------------------------
Dr. A. P. J. Abdul Kalam
Reading this shrug me ... The media is not aware of the power it has.. it can make happen a revolution but they are so much commercialised that they go blind on their responsibilities... they will go for sting operation, they will be covering most of the events before govt. officials but they wont be doing any good thei save and except taling of what not is there and what lacks there, how people are suffering how why what when everything blah blah blah but I never saw a reporter involved in rescue operation ... comeon media ... still the hardcore truth is that in media also there are we people only who dont utilize our body itself rather just keep using mouth for commenting on everything , cursing the systems but doing nothing for it...
if there needs to be a change in system then its we are the first who needs to change in our ATTITUDE.. we are root to the system and we are the leaves and stem all part...so its we who need to be changed... wake up brothers...its time....
JAAGO INDIA JAAGO.....
Why is the media here so negative?
Why are we in India so embarrassed to recognize our own strengths, our achievements? We are such a great nation. We have so many amazing success stories but we refuse to acknowledge them. Why?
We are the first in milk production .
We are number one in Remote sensing satellites.
We are the second largest producer of wheat.
We are the second largest producer of rice.
Look at Dr. Sudarshan , he has transferred the tribal village into a
self-sustaining, self-driving unit. There are millions of such achievements but our media is only obsessed in the bad news and failures and disasters. I was in Tel Aviv once and I was reading the Israeli newspaper. It was the day after a lot of attacks and bombardments and deaths had taken place. The Hamas had struck. But the front page of the newspaper had the picture of a Jewish gentleman who in five years had transformed his desert into an orchidand a granary. It was this inspiring picture that everyone woke up to. The gory details of killings, bombardments, deaths, were inside in the newspaper, buried among other news.
In India we only read about death, sickness, terrorism, crime. Why are we so NEGATIVE? Another question: Why are we, as a nation so obsessed with foreign things? We want foreign T. Vs, we want foreign shirts. We want f oreign technology.
Why this obsession with everything imported. Do we not realize that self-respect comes with self-reliance? I was in Hyderabad giving this lecture, when a 14 year old girl asked me for my autograph. I asked her what her goal in life is. She replied: I want to live in a developed India . For her, you and I will have to build this developed India . You must proclaim. India is not an under-developed nation; it is a highly developed nation. Do you have 10 minutes? Allow me to come back with a vengeance.
Got 10 minutes for your country? If yes, then read; otherwise, choice is yours.
YOU say that our government is inefficient.
YOU say that our laws are too old.
YOU say that the municipality does not pick up the garbage.
YOU say that the phones don't work, the railways are a joke,
The airline is the worst in the world, mails never reach their destination.
YOU say that our country has been fed to the dogs and is the absolute pits.
YOU say, say and say. What do YOU do about it?
Take a person on his way to Singapore .. Give him a name - YOURS. Give him a face - YOURS. YOU walk out of the airport and you are at your International best. In Singapore you don't throw cigarette butts on the roads or eat in the stores. YOU are as proud of their Underground links as they are. You pay $5 (approx. Rs. 60) to drive through Orchard Road (equivalent of Mahim causeway or Pedder Road) between 5 PM and 8 PM. YOU come back to the parking lot to punch your parking ticket if you have over stayed in a restaurant or a shopping mall irrespective of your status identity... In Singapore you don't say anything, DO YOU? YOU wouldn't dare to eat in public during Ramadan, in Dubai .. YOU would not dare to go out without your head covered in Jeddah . YOU would not dare to buy an employee of the telephone exchange in London at 10 pounds ( Rs.650) a month to, 'see to it that my STD and ISD calls are billed to someone else.'YOU would not dare to speed beyond 55 mph (88 km/h) in Washington and then tell the traffic cop, 'Jaanta hai main kaun hoon (Do you know who I am?). I am so and so's son.
Take your two bucks and get lost.' YOU wouldn't chuck an empty coconut shell anywhere other than the garbage pail on the beaches in Australia and New Zealand .
Why don't YOU spit Paan on the streets of Tokyo ? Why don't YOU use examination jockeys or buy fake certificates in Boston ??? We are still talking of the same YOU. YOU who can respect and conform to a foreign system in other countries but cannot in your own. You who will throw papers and cigarettes on the road the moment you touch Indian ground. If you can be an involved and appreciative citizen in an alien country, why cannot you be the same here in India ?
Once in an interview, the famous Ex-municipal commissioner of Bombay , Mr. Tinaikar , had a point to make. 'Rich people's dogs are walked on the streets to leave their affluent droppings all over the place,' he said. 'And then the same people turn around to criticize and blame the authorities for inefficiency and dirty pavements. What do they expect the officers to do? Go down with a broom every time their dog feels the pressure in his bowels?
In America every dog owner has to clean up after his pet has done the job. Same in Japan .. Will the Indian citizen do that here?' He's right. We go to the polls to choose a government and after that forfeit all responsibility.
We sit back wanting to be pampered and expect the government to do everything for us whilst our contribution is totally negative. We expect the government to clean up but we are not going to stop chucking garbage all over the place nor are we going to stop to pick a up a stray piece of paper and throw it in the bin. We expect the railways to provide clean bathrooms but we are not going to learn the proper use of bathrooms.
We want Indian Airlines and Air India to provide the best of food and toiletries but we are not going to stop pilfering at the least opportunity. This applies even to the staff who is known not to pass on the service to the public. When it comes to burning social issues like those related to women, dowry, girl child! and others, we make loud drawing room protestations and continue to do the reverse at home. Our excuse? 'It's the whole system which has to change, how will it matter if I alone forego my sons' rights to a dowry.' So who's going to change the system?
What does a system consist of ? Very conveniently for us it consists of our neighbours, other households, other cities, other communities and the government. But definitely not me and YOU. When it comes to us actually making a positive contribution to the system we lock ourselves along with our families into a safe cocoon and look into the distance at countries far away and wait for a Mr.Clean to come along & work miracles for us with a majestic sweep of his hand or we leave the country and run away.
Like lazy cowards hounded by our fears we run to America to bask in their glory and praise their system. When New York becomes insecure we run to England .. When England experiences unemployment, we take the next flight out to the Gulf. When the Gulf is war struck, we demand to be rescued and brought home by the Indian government. Everybody is out to abuse and rape the country. Nobody thinks of feeding the system. Our conscience is mortgaged to money.
Dearar Indians, The article is highly thought inductive, calls for a great deal of introspection and pricks one's conscience too.... I am echoing J. F.. Kennedy 's words to his fellow Americans to relate to Indians.....
'ASK WHAT WE CAN DO FOR INDIA
AND DO WHAT HAS TO BE DONE TO MAKE INDIA
WHAT AMERICA AND OTHER WESTERN COUNTRIES ARE TODAY'
Lets do what India needs from us.
-----------------------------------------
Dr. A. P. J. Abdul Kalam
Reading this shrug me ... The media is not aware of the power it has.. it can make happen a revolution but they are so much commercialised that they go blind on their responsibilities... they will go for sting operation, they will be covering most of the events before govt. officials but they wont be doing any good thei save and except taling of what not is there and what lacks there, how people are suffering how why what when everything blah blah blah but I never saw a reporter involved in rescue operation ... comeon media ... still the hardcore truth is that in media also there are we people only who dont utilize our body itself rather just keep using mouth for commenting on everything , cursing the systems but doing nothing for it...
if there needs to be a change in system then its we are the first who needs to change in our ATTITUDE.. we are root to the system and we are the leaves and stem all part...so its we who need to be changed... wake up brothers...its time....
JAAGO INDIA JAAGO.....
Monday, October 06, 2008
नारायणी नमोस्तुते
"या देवी सर्व भूतेषु शक्ति रुपेण संस्थिता
नमःतस्यै, नमःतस्यै, नमःतस्यै नमो नमः''
अशी अंबेची आराधना करण्याचे हे दिवस. आदिमायेच्या भजनात, पूजनात गुंग होण्याचे दिवस. नवरात्र- म्हणजे नऊ रात्री. आश्विन शुद्ध प्रतिपदा ते नवमीपर्यंत. आश्विन शुद्ध प्रतिपदेस घटस्थापना होऊन माता दुर्गेचा उत्सव सुरू होतो. या नवरात्रामध्ये अंबेची पूजा करण्याची प्रथा भारतभर आहे. गुजरातमधील "गरबा'', कर्नाटकातील "यक्षगान'', आंध्रप्रदेशातील "रामलीला'', महाराष्ट्रातील "भोंडला'' व "देवीचे जागरण'' या आपल्या देशातील परंपरा आहेत.
पावसाळा सरतो आणि थंडीचा मागोवा देणाऱ्या शरदाची नांदी लावत आश्विन मास अवतरतो. शुद्ध प्रतिपदेपासूनच नवरात्र महोत्सवाला भारतभर प्रारंभ होतो. या महिन्याचे मूळ नाव आहे "ईष'' म्हणजे उडून जाणे. जेव्हा अनेक महिने सतत वर्षणारा पर्जन्यपक्षी उडून जातो तेव्हा ईष म्हणजे आश्विन मास सुरू होतो. मनाला ओलावा देणारा, सृष्टीला हिरवा शालू नेसवणारा, चातक पक्षाची तहान भागविणारा पाऊल गेल्याने मन उदास होते. पण विश्वव्यापी, त्रिगुणात्मक आदिमायेचे नवरात्र या उदासीनतेला उत्साहाची झालर कधी चढविते कळतच नाही. हा उत्सव दुर्गादेवीचा, शस्त्र पूजनाचा व सीमोल्लंघनाचा असा आशय घेऊन अपार उत्साहाने देशभर साजरा होतो. शिवरायांच्या संग्रामशील व कालोचित अशा सीमोल्लंघनाच्या पायंड्याने नवरात्राला एक जबरदस्त ऐतिहासिक परिणाम बहाल केला.
यामागची इतिहासात प्रचलित असलेली कथा अशी आहे. एकेकाळी देवांच्या नाशासाठी "दुर्गम'' नावाच्या असुराने घनघोर तपश्चर्या करून ब्रह्मदेवाला प्रसन्न करून देवांची ताकद असणारे चारही वेद मागून घेतले. या असुरामुळे सर्वत्र भीतीचे वातावरण होते, तेव्हा ब्रह्मवृंदाच्या व्याकुळतेला स्मरून आदिमातेने उन्मत्त दुर्गम असुराचा वध केला. दुर्गमचा वध केल्यामुळे हिला "दुर्गा' म्हटले जाते. याच देवीला पुढे काली, अंबा, भवानी असेही म्हटले गेले.
नवरात्राचा पहिलाच दिवस घटस्थापनेचा. या दिवशी मातीच्या वेदीवर घटाच्यावर पसरलेल्या ताम्हणात कुलदेवतेच्या प्रतिमेची व कुलदेवाच्या टाकांची प्रतिष्ठापना करून घटाभोवती पसरलेल्या निवडक मातीच्या गादीवाफ्यात गहू, ज्वारी, मका अशी सप्त धान्ये पेरली जातात. या दिवशी घटाजवळ लावलेला दिवा नऊ दिवस - रात्र तेवत राहणार असतो. या दिवसापासून घटाला प्रत्येक दिवशी एक माळ किंवा पहिल्या दिवशी एक, दुसऱ्यादिवशी दोन अशा वाढत्या क्रमाने बांधल्या जातात. ही माळ विशेषतः झेंडूच्या फुलांची असते.
पंचमीच्या दिवशी "ललितापंचमी'' चे व्रत करतात. यादिवशी ललिताअंबेला न खुडलेल्या दुर्वांच्या बेचाळीस पेंड्या वाहण्याची प्रथा आहे. दांपत्य पूजन केले जाते. रात्री जागरण हरीकथा कथन केले जाते.
अष्टमीच्या दिवशी चित्पावन ब्राह्मणात "महालक्ष्मी'' पुजिली जाते. हा महालक्ष्मीचा जागर घागर फुंकून केला जातो. यावेळी फक्त " फू..फू..'' एवढाच आवाज वातावरण निर्मिती करतो. तांदळाच्या पिठापासून तयार केलेला देवीचा मुखवटा दागदागिन्यांनी, फुलांनी सजविला जातो. नवीन लग्न झालेले असेल तर पहिल्या वर्षी नवपरिणीतेच्या सासरी किंवा माहेरी मोठ्या हौसेने महालक्ष्मीपूजन केले जाते. नवीन सुनेला घागर फुंकायला लावतात, नाव घ्यायला लावतात.
"अग अग वहिनी ये ना इकडे, महालक्ष्मी आहे बघ पुढे
साजण आहे ग तुझा तिकडे, आज तरी तू पाहा ना इकडे''
हे सगळे चालत असताना आपली राणी कशी घागर फुंकते हे पाहण्यास नवरोबा कुठेतरी लपून राहिलेले असतात. सगळंच प्रसन्न वातावरण! रात्र फुगड्यास, घागर फुंकण्यास खरं तर कमीच पडते पण महालक्ष्मीचे विसर्जन पहाटेच करावयाचे बंधन असते. गावामध्ये समज आहे की विसर्जनापूर्वी जर देवीच्या मुखवट्याला भेगा पडल्या तर आपल्या पुजेमध्ये काहीतरी चूक झाल्याचे निष्पन्न होते. याच दिवशी शाळांमध्ये ज्ञानाची देवता सरस्वतीचे पूजन केले जाते.
नवमीला "खड्गनवमी'' म्हणतात. यादिवशी घरातील शस्त्रे - अस्त्रे पुजिली जातात. हीच शस्त्रे इतिहासात विजय-पराजयाशी निगडित असायची. त्यामुळे त्यांना पुजायची प्रथा आहे. नवरात्रांमध्ये महत्त्वाचे दिवस म्हणजे पंचमी, अष्टमी आणि नवमी. प्रत्येक दिवशी एक याप्रमाणे दुर्गासप्तशतीच्या एकेका पाठाचे पठण केले जाते.
दहावा दिवस म्हणजे दसरा. पौराणिक कथांनुसार आश्विन शुद्ध प्रतिपदेपासून ते नवमीपर्यंत देवांविरुध्द राक्षसांचे युद्ध चालले होते. दहाव्यादिवशी विजया रुपी पार्वतीने विजय मिळवून काशीत प्रवेश केला म्हणून या विजयी दिवसाला "विजयादशमी'' म्हणूनही संबोधले जाते. या दिवशी शमी वृक्षाची पूजा केली जाते. रामाने रावणाशी युद्ध करून त्याचा वध केला व पांडवांनी वनवासात जाताना शमी वृक्षाच्या ढोलीत ठेवलेली शस्त्रास्त्रे परत ताब्यात घेतली म्हणून शमीच्या वृक्षाला यादिवशी महत्त्व आहे. दसरा हा साडेतीन मुहूर्तांपैकी एक आहे. म्हणूनच या दिवशी नवीन कामाचा श्रीगणेशा केला जातो. घरातील कर्ता पुरुष यावेळी सीमोल्लंघन करतो. यादिवशी स्वयंपाकात मुख्यतः पुरणपोळी करतात.
गोव्यात देवळांमध्ये नवरात्रोत्सवानिमित्त देवीसाठी सजविण्यात आलेली मखरे पाहण्यासाठी लोक दूरदूरहून येतात. अंत्रुज महालातील देवळातील मखरोत्सव तर फार प्रसिद्ध आहे. यादिवशी देवीला अशाप्रकारे सजविले जाते की जिला पाहताच वाटते ती आपल्याशीच हितगूज करते. तिचा चेहऱ्यावरचा भाव तिचे दागदागिने, फुलांपेक्षा जास्त उठावदार व बोलका असतो. देवीला मखरात बसवून झोके दिले जातात यावेळी मंत्रघोषाने सारे देऊळ मंत्रमुग्ध झालेले असते. भक्तीचा सागर गरजत असतो, त्यातील भाव उफाळत असतो, अन् भक्त या संगमात कधीच न्हाऊन निघालेला असतो.
आपले सारे सण हे असेच मनाला समाधान देणारे. कितीही ताण असला तरी आईच्या भक्तीत लोक सारे विसरतात. कारण सारे वातावरण पावित्र्याचे, मांगल्याचे आणि सौख्याचे. अशा या नवरात्रीच्या निमित्ताने आपण सर्वांनाही आमच्यातर्फे नवरात्रीच्या शुभेच्छा.
"टिपऱ्या, टाळ्यांचा गजर, आहे "आई'' चा जागर, जाती - भेद विसरून एक होऊ
धुंद होऊन, फेर धरून नाचू - गाऊ, नवरात्रीही आपण जागवू ''
आजकाल या नवरात्रोत्सवाला काही प्रमाणात सार्वजनिक रूप प्राप्त झाले आहे. गुजराथी समाजात गरबा, दांडिया खेळून हा उत्सव मोठ्या जल्लोषात साजरा केला जातो. विविध जागी एकत्रित कार्यक्रम आयोजित केलेले असतात. गायक कलाकारांना आमंत्रित केले जाते अन् नटनट्यांच्या उपस्थितीमुळे तर हा क्षण तरुण तरुणींच्या संस्मरणीय ठरतो.
"रंगा ढंगात, तारुण्याच्या जोशात
टिपऱ्यांच्या तालात, गरबा खेळू सारी रात.''
महाराष्ट्रात यालाच भोंडला असे संबोधले जाते. यावेळी हत्तीची आकृती मधे ठेवून मुली गोल फेर धरतात व तोंडाने पुढील गीत म्हणतात.
"अडकीत जाऊ, खिडकीत जाऊ,
खिडकीत होता बत्ता, आमचा भोंडला आत्ता''
कर्नाटकामध्ये याला " यक्षगान '' म्हटले जाते. यावेळी नाटक संवादामध्ये नाहीतर गाण्याच्या स्वरूपात सादर केले जाते. हे पाहण्यासाठी स्थानिकांपेक्षा परदेशी लोक फार येतात.
नवरात्रीतली प्रत्येक रात्र आदिशक्तीच्या पुढील नावावरुन प्रचलित आहे.
पहिली रात्र - शैलपुत्री
दुसरी रात्र - ब्रह्मचारिणी
तिसरी रात्र - चंद्रघंटा
चौथी रात्र - कुश्मांदा
पाचवी रात्र - स्कंदमाता
सहावी रात्र - कात्यायनी
सातवी रात्र - कालरात्री
आठवी रात्र - चामुंडा
नववी रात्र - सिध्दीदात्री
Happy Navratra to all ... coming together spiritually ... bonding together for a common cause... stenthenging relationships...
Friday, August 22, 2008
India Bagged 3 Beijing Olympic Medals Creating History
CREATING HISTORY is not an easy job. After several generations, some geniuses are born to create or rewrite history. Since the existence of the world, the phenomena has been recurring and still does. All over the world, several such geniuses have been born and made their country proud. Our country has also produced many great people who served the country in their respective fields at the international level.
Science and technology, medicine, management, politics, sports, there is a long list of great Indians. Fact is that those geniuses live among us, but we recognise them only when they do something exceptional. Sushil Kumar is one such name with whom we became familiar, only a day back. After 56 years, Sushil won a bronze in wrestling, one of the most popular games in India.
August 20, 2008, was a red letter day in India’s history as two brave sons of the country achieved the exceptional feat at the Beijing Olympics. For the first time in 112 years of Olympic history, India is on the verge of winning three medals in single edition of the multi-sports event. India’s Beijing medal count was opened by shooter Abhinav Bindra on August 11, with gold in shooting. On August 20, Sushil Kumar increased the medal count by winning a bronze in 66 kg freestyle wrestling. As the nation was celebrating the success of the India’s ace grappler Sushil, boxer Vijender Kumar guaranteed another medal for the country. Vijender entered the semi-finals by beating Ecuadorian Carlos Gongora 9-4.
Shooter Bindra won the gold in the men’s 10 metres air rifle event on August 11. Bindra won the first ever individual gold medal in Olympic history and made the whole country proud. Apart from Bindra’s home town, the whole country witnessed massive celebrations. Just few minutes after Bindra’s gold, the Central government, governments of several states and sports organisations of the country announced huge prize money for the brave shooter. Bindra’s parents were also on cloud nine. His father gifted him a Rs 200 crore hotel on winning the medal.
After Bindra’s gold on August 11, India’s hope for a medal increased with 2004 Athens Olympics silver medallist Rajyavardhan Singh Rathore. But the Indian flag-bearer could not qualify for the final of men’s double trap event. Tennis was another sport in which India was expecting a medal, but Sania Mirza pulled herself out of the women’s singles tennis event due to injury. Leander Paes and Mahesh Bhupathi also failed in men’s double tennis. Saina Nehwal also impressed all by reaching the quarter-finals of women’s badminton.
The irony remains that with a population over 4 crore we happen to bag only 3 medals in olympics and that too makes a history... so we shall be proud or pondering over the event? Why is that we come to know Abhinaw,Sushil and Vijendra only after they scored in olympics?
There are so many why circling but the point is that we hardly will remember to think and take steps to make indian feel proud as most of us will forget less than 3 weeks down the lane... Why we only give importance to one game and let go others as an orphan sports...
If there is a time to think and react its now and now only...
Science and technology, medicine, management, politics, sports, there is a long list of great Indians. Fact is that those geniuses live among us, but we recognise them only when they do something exceptional. Sushil Kumar is one such name with whom we became familiar, only a day back. After 56 years, Sushil won a bronze in wrestling, one of the most popular games in India.
August 20, 2008, was a red letter day in India’s history as two brave sons of the country achieved the exceptional feat at the Beijing Olympics. For the first time in 112 years of Olympic history, India is on the verge of winning three medals in single edition of the multi-sports event. India’s Beijing medal count was opened by shooter Abhinav Bindra on August 11, with gold in shooting. On August 20, Sushil Kumar increased the medal count by winning a bronze in 66 kg freestyle wrestling. As the nation was celebrating the success of the India’s ace grappler Sushil, boxer Vijender Kumar guaranteed another medal for the country. Vijender entered the semi-finals by beating Ecuadorian Carlos Gongora 9-4.
Shooter Bindra won the gold in the men’s 10 metres air rifle event on August 11. Bindra won the first ever individual gold medal in Olympic history and made the whole country proud. Apart from Bindra’s home town, the whole country witnessed massive celebrations. Just few minutes after Bindra’s gold, the Central government, governments of several states and sports organisations of the country announced huge prize money for the brave shooter. Bindra’s parents were also on cloud nine. His father gifted him a Rs 200 crore hotel on winning the medal.
After Bindra’s gold on August 11, India’s hope for a medal increased with 2004 Athens Olympics silver medallist Rajyavardhan Singh Rathore. But the Indian flag-bearer could not qualify for the final of men’s double trap event. Tennis was another sport in which India was expecting a medal, but Sania Mirza pulled herself out of the women’s singles tennis event due to injury. Leander Paes and Mahesh Bhupathi also failed in men’s double tennis. Saina Nehwal also impressed all by reaching the quarter-finals of women’s badminton.
The irony remains that with a population over 4 crore we happen to bag only 3 medals in olympics and that too makes a history... so we shall be proud or pondering over the event? Why is that we come to know Abhinaw,Sushil and Vijendra only after they scored in olympics?
There are so many why circling but the point is that we hardly will remember to think and take steps to make indian feel proud as most of us will forget less than 3 weeks down the lane... Why we only give importance to one game and let go others as an orphan sports...
If there is a time to think and react its now and now only...
Thursday, August 21, 2008
Human-animal bonding
Bonding with the best
The bond of faith and trust that is surprisingly stronger than that between two humans is the human-animal bonding.
Animals have made their presence and need felt time and again on human lives. Today, though one cannot call it fashion, there is a sense of pride and happiness among those who own pets.
As vet Dr SK Ray says, ‘‘Pets are quite a trend among younger generation,right from kids to college-goers,though old people also find in them a friend when alone.’’ Indeed, with parents busy with work and other issues,kids find the company of pets a relief.
More so because the pets, be it dogs, cats or even birds, respond equally. ‘‘I feel like a parent when it comes to my doggy,’’ says a teenaged Dipti, the proud owner of Britney, a pomeranian. Cats, dogs, birds or even fishes, all feel and understand human emotions and more.
‘‘It has been proved already that animals have a stronger connection with nature due to which they react before a person suffers an attack or before natural calamities like earthquakes. Physically challenged and blind people also find great mental benefits spending time with pets,’’ reminds Dr Ray.
Owning pets is beneficial to kids and teenagers who are rough in nature and undergo immense psychological change after handling pets. They become more kind and compassionate.
It has often been seen that adolescents often talk and confide their secrets to animals.Growing up with animals also helps understand nature, life processes and improves empathy and non verbal communication.
Wednesday, August 13, 2008
India's Abhinav Bindra bagging the country's first-ever individual gold in the Olympics
As the news of India's Abhinav Bindra bagging the country's first-ever individual gold in the Olympics came in, Chennaiites, like their countrymen in other states, shared the joy and basked in the moment of glory.
As news of Bindra's winning gold in the 10 M Air Rifle trickled in, a wave of joy and patriotism swept across the city, especially among tech-savvy youngsters, who used the Short Message Service (SMS) to spread the news.
The general content of the SMSs was patriotism as most of them read, "proud to be Indian," "Jai Hind" or "Bindra has made us proud," reflecting the mood of the nation.
SMSs started flying thick and fast, with youngsters' eager to be part of a winning moment of the 25 year-old Bindra.
The city's office-goers were preparing themselves for a busy Monday, the first day of the week when they got the pleasant news on their mobile phones.
"I screamed with joy as soon as I saw the SMS, unmindful of the fact that I was travelling in a packed compartment in the suburban train," S Sriram, a software professional, said.
"As those around stared at me strangely, I broke the news to them and saw a lot of smiles in the compartment," he said.
For some, the news was like an oasis in a desert as the medal-starved Indian contingent was failing to live up to the expectations of a billion Indians since the start of the games.
"It's a great feeling. I hope this win inspires the others also, as we have pinned lot of hopes on Sania Mirza and others like Saina Nehwal," sports enthusiast and homoeopath, S Lakshmi, said.
As I read in NDTV.com
As news of Bindra's winning gold in the 10 M Air Rifle trickled in, a wave of joy and patriotism swept across the city, especially among tech-savvy youngsters, who used the Short Message Service (SMS) to spread the news.
The general content of the SMSs was patriotism as most of them read, "proud to be Indian," "Jai Hind" or "Bindra has made us proud," reflecting the mood of the nation.
SMSs started flying thick and fast, with youngsters' eager to be part of a winning moment of the 25 year-old Bindra.
The city's office-goers were preparing themselves for a busy Monday, the first day of the week when they got the pleasant news on their mobile phones.
"I screamed with joy as soon as I saw the SMS, unmindful of the fact that I was travelling in a packed compartment in the suburban train," S Sriram, a software professional, said.
"As those around stared at me strangely, I broke the news to them and saw a lot of smiles in the compartment," he said.
For some, the news was like an oasis in a desert as the medal-starved Indian contingent was failing to live up to the expectations of a billion Indians since the start of the games.
"It's a great feeling. I hope this win inspires the others also, as we have pinned lot of hopes on Sania Mirza and others like Saina Nehwal," sports enthusiast and homoeopath, S Lakshmi, said.
As I read in NDTV.com
Thursday, August 07, 2008
Freinds Reunited
Today there are means and ways that we friends can be in touch with each otheramid our tough schedule. Its through so many socialising sites like orkut, facebook, and many more..
Now we can just search for groups of friends on following parameters:
1. Find a place where you spent time at e.g. a school, workplace, university or street. This helps you to find your old and current places.
2.Places that you’ve spent time at.
place has a common name e.g. St Mary's school, we recommend you narrow down your results by location
3.If you’re not quite sure of the name of the place you're looking for, use a keyword. E.g. a university search for "Leeds" will the University of Leeds and Leeds Metropolitan University
So what are you waiting for ..go and find your friends online
Now we can just search for groups of friends on following parameters:
1. Find a place where you spent time at e.g. a school, workplace, university or street. This helps you to find your old and current places.
2.Places that you’ve spent time at.
place has a common name e.g. St Mary's school, we recommend you narrow down your results by location
3.If you’re not quite sure of the name of the place you're looking for, use a keyword. E.g. a university search for "Leeds" will the University of Leeds and Leeds Metropolitan University
So what are you waiting for ..go and find your friends online
Sunday, August 03, 2008
Two killed in bomb blast in north Kolkata
I am just afraid its going to take more bad scenario in coming days... Its Indian independence days approaching and so are the terror activists sick deeds.
The bomb blast in north Kolkata cost 2 lives and many injured is raising hundreds of question and routing an unknown terror in life of the citizens.
Kolkata (PTI): Two persons were killed and seven others injured in a bomb explosion in Chitpur area in north Kolkata on Sunday, police said.
The blast occurred at Sarbamangala Ghat when some rag pickers were rummaging through the garbage for plastic bags, they said, adding the bomb was hidden under the heap of garbage.
The injured were rushed to nearby hospital.
Primary investigations by the North Port police under which the area falls, revealed that the bombs were crude in nature.
The bomb blast in north Kolkata cost 2 lives and many injured is raising hundreds of question and routing an unknown terror in life of the citizens.
Kolkata (PTI): Two persons were killed and seven others injured in a bomb explosion in Chitpur area in north Kolkata on Sunday, police said.
The blast occurred at Sarbamangala Ghat when some rag pickers were rummaging through the garbage for plastic bags, they said, adding the bomb was hidden under the heap of garbage.
The injured were rushed to nearby hospital.
Primary investigations by the North Port police under which the area falls, revealed that the bombs were crude in nature.
Friday, August 01, 2008
Leadership just few steps away
Becoming the leader of a project, group or business is very thrilling. You get to make the decisions, help more people, earn more pay and have more fun. The technology described in this article outlines exactly how you can do this.
"THE K-R-C TRIANGLE"
"The points are K for KNOWLEDGE, R for RESPONSIBILITY and C for CONTROL."
"It is difficult to be responsible for something or control something unless you have KNOWLEDGE of it."
"It is folly to try to control something or even know something without RESPONSIBILITY."
"It is hard to fully know something or be responsible for something over which you have no CONTROL, otherwise the result can be an overwhelm."
"Little by little one can make anything go right by
"INCREASING KNOWLEDGE . . . ,"
"INCREASING RESPONSIBILITY . . . ,"
"INCREASING CONTROL . . . ."
"If one sorts out any situation one finds oneself in on this basis, he will generally succeed."
"By inching up each corner of the KRC triangle bit by bit, ignoring the losses and making the wins firm, a being at length discovers his power and command of life." -- L. Ron Hubbard
Few easy steps:
1. Decide on the group or project that you want lead. If you are not yet a part of that activity, take a small position in that group or project.
2. Increase your knowledge: Learn more about the activity than anyone. Do more research than anyone. Figure out more innovative solutions than anyone.
3. Increase your responsibility: Be a great supporter to the current leader. Volunteer to do extra work and take on extra duties with no pay. Consider the success of the project or group to be your personal responsibility.
4. Control: Invest more time and interest in the activity than anyone else. Take control of every aspect of the project or group, when the opportunity presents itself.
5. Losses: Do not dwell on any failures, regrets or mistakes you encounter. Fix them, when possible, but otherwise, ignore them.
6. Wins: Focus on your successes each day. Write them down, think about them and talk about them. Make them a permanent part of your life.
7. Because you have the most knowledge and responsibility for the success of the project, an opportunity to take control of the project or group will eventually appear. When this happens, do not hesitate. Take the reins!
"THE K-R-C TRIANGLE"
"The points are K for KNOWLEDGE, R for RESPONSIBILITY and C for CONTROL."
"It is difficult to be responsible for something or control something unless you have KNOWLEDGE of it."
"It is folly to try to control something or even know something without RESPONSIBILITY."
"It is hard to fully know something or be responsible for something over which you have no CONTROL, otherwise the result can be an overwhelm."
"Little by little one can make anything go right by
"INCREASING KNOWLEDGE . . . ,"
"INCREASING RESPONSIBILITY . . . ,"
"INCREASING CONTROL . . . ."
"If one sorts out any situation one finds oneself in on this basis, he will generally succeed."
"By inching up each corner of the KRC triangle bit by bit, ignoring the losses and making the wins firm, a being at length discovers his power and command of life." -- L. Ron Hubbard
Few easy steps:
1. Decide on the group or project that you want lead. If you are not yet a part of that activity, take a small position in that group or project.
2. Increase your knowledge: Learn more about the activity than anyone. Do more research than anyone. Figure out more innovative solutions than anyone.
3. Increase your responsibility: Be a great supporter to the current leader. Volunteer to do extra work and take on extra duties with no pay. Consider the success of the project or group to be your personal responsibility.
4. Control: Invest more time and interest in the activity than anyone else. Take control of every aspect of the project or group, when the opportunity presents itself.
5. Losses: Do not dwell on any failures, regrets or mistakes you encounter. Fix them, when possible, but otherwise, ignore them.
6. Wins: Focus on your successes each day. Write them down, think about them and talk about them. Make them a permanent part of your life.
7. Because you have the most knowledge and responsibility for the success of the project, an opportunity to take control of the project or group will eventually appear. When this happens, do not hesitate. Take the reins!
How to Be a True Friend to the World
Who has the power to be your greatest enemy? Bad bosses or bad employees? Rotten neighbors? Terrorists? Unfriendly drivers on the freeway?
Actually, none of them.
Your greatest potential enemy is you.
No one can ruin your life like you can. No one can pull the plug on your career as effectively as you. No one can wreck your marriage like you.
When you criticize yourself or hate yourself, you become your own worst enemy.
In a book called "Self Analysis," L. Ron Hubbard writes,
"Probably the most neglected friend you have is you. And yet every man, before he can be a true friend to the world, must first become a friend to himself."
When you have a high opinion of yourself, you are less afraid. You have confidence. You can make progress.
As a good friend to yourself, you stop doubting yourself. You like yourself. You expect you will succeed.
When times get tough, you can rely on yourself. When the whole world seems to oppose you, you will have at least one supporter. Even when your body stops working, you will still have a loyal friend with you.
To become a true friend to yourself, first set a goal to become your own best friend.
With your goal in mind, you can then change a few attitudes. For example, if you beat yourself up for something you did wrong in the past, knock it off. You did what you thought was right at the time. Forgive yourself, decide to never do it again and move on.
If you criticize yourself, maybe someone made you believe these criticisms. Stop agreeing with this person.
At least be fair to yourself. For every critical thought you have about yourself, balance the scales with a positive thought. Why not compliment yourself from time to time?
Be kind to yourself. Buy yourself a gift. Pat yourself on the back.
If you don't like yourself, you may not have many friends. How can you expect people to like you if you don't like you?
Yet as soon you are a true friend to yourself, you will find it easy to have many friendships and become a true friend to the world.
Actually, none of them.
Your greatest potential enemy is you.
No one can ruin your life like you can. No one can pull the plug on your career as effectively as you. No one can wreck your marriage like you.
When you criticize yourself or hate yourself, you become your own worst enemy.
In a book called "Self Analysis," L. Ron Hubbard writes,
"Probably the most neglected friend you have is you. And yet every man, before he can be a true friend to the world, must first become a friend to himself."
When you have a high opinion of yourself, you are less afraid. You have confidence. You can make progress.
As a good friend to yourself, you stop doubting yourself. You like yourself. You expect you will succeed.
When times get tough, you can rely on yourself. When the whole world seems to oppose you, you will have at least one supporter. Even when your body stops working, you will still have a loyal friend with you.
To become a true friend to yourself, first set a goal to become your own best friend.
With your goal in mind, you can then change a few attitudes. For example, if you beat yourself up for something you did wrong in the past, knock it off. You did what you thought was right at the time. Forgive yourself, decide to never do it again and move on.
If you criticize yourself, maybe someone made you believe these criticisms. Stop agreeing with this person.
At least be fair to yourself. For every critical thought you have about yourself, balance the scales with a positive thought. Why not compliment yourself from time to time?
Be kind to yourself. Buy yourself a gift. Pat yourself on the back.
If you don't like yourself, you may not have many friends. How can you expect people to like you if you don't like you?
Yet as soon you are a true friend to yourself, you will find it easy to have many friendships and become a true friend to the world.
Monday, July 28, 2008
People light oil lamps while paying tribute to victims of Bangalore and Ahmedabad blasts, in Bhopal.
People light oil lamps while paying tribute to victims of Bangalore and Ahmedabad blasts, in Bhopal.
Together we stand in such time reflect our unity... Its one message that the people of Bhopal has taken initiative to tell the world and the terrorists that you are no where near to the internal relationship of us Indian to be shattered with their ill deeds.
We are standing together in the loss of all brothers and sisters in Bangalore and Ahmedabad...
The government should understand this and instead of the politics during such happenings they should be taking harsh measures on how to put a break on terrorist activities which are loud after the series of bomb blasts in two cities killing more than 50 peoples and injuring more that 100 of citizens.
I voice to the government to take the harsh measures without them we won't be able to send the right message to the world and terrorism...
Together we stand
We need to show the world that we stand together on this day to show the terrorists that you can not hit on the love and realtionship of Indians' what so ever terrorists may try. The people are praying and stand to the peoples of bangalore and ahmedabad in their loss.
The series of bomblasts that shattered peace of common peoples in INDIA.. The Bangalore 7 and Ahemdabad 21 killing 50 peoples and injuring more than 100...
The series of bomblasts that shattered peace of common peoples in INDIA.. The Bangalore 7 and Ahemdabad 21 killing 50 peoples and injuring more than 100...
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